Day to Day happiness-Mt Olympus, UT ward Oct 03

At the request of my husband I’m going to take a few minutes to introduce our family. My husband’s name is Taylor and my son’s name is Brayden. I like enchiladas, scrap booking, and the color red. Taylor likes dishes with pumpkin it them, Kenpo karate and the color blue. We both love to play games. Brayden likes sucking on his fingers, his wrist rattle and has recently discovered that he has lips and can use them to make noise.
Taylor and I have been married for four years. We met on a blind date that actually worked. This fact is even more impressive if you know that the date took place three days after Taylor returned from his mission. I don’t know if any of you remember what you were like right after coming home from a mission. Taylor had the privilege of serving his mission in Tacloban Phillipines, were he wasn’t so fond of the food. We doubled with another couple and for our date the girls took the guys (both recently returned missionaries) to the grocery store to let them choose anything that they wanted us to cook for dinner. Sometimes I still marvel that, we had a second date even though I saw Taylor actually hug a box of dried scalloped potatoes and drool over grapes on our first date.
Luckily, we did have that second date and we were serious about six months later, but we had to put a hold on the dating while I spent a semester at the BYU Jerusalem center. Once I got back, we were engaged and then married about a year after we met.
Taylor studied pre-physical therapy at UVSC and I graduated from BYU with a degree in Business Finance. Taylor is currently pursuing a clinical doctorate in Physical Therapy at the University of Utah and I graduated from the U with my Master’s in Business last May. We are currently house-sitting for Dorian and Lila while they serve a mission in Australia. They are doing very well, send their greetings and are now shooting to be back in January.
Brayden came into our family on the Fourth of July, eight days after he was scheduled to. We feel so blessed to have him in our family, and although he is only about four months old, he has taught us a lot in the areas of patience and service. The fact that we have a new baby makes it appropriate that I start my talk with a story from the Friend. The following story was taken from the June 1977 Issue of the Friend.
His parents had named him “Happy-” Happy Horton Hoggle, that is. But by the time he was six years old, everyone called him Never Happy Horton. When Never Happy Horton started school, everyone there soon knew the reason for his name.
That first morning Mr. Barnes, the principal, was at the front door to greet the students. He reached for Horton’s hand to shake it.
“I don’t like to shake hands!” Never Happy Horton said with a big frown.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m here to help you,” said Mr. Barnes with a smile. “I want to be your friend.”
“No you don’t and I don’t want to be anybody’s friend. Don’t you know who I am? I’m Never Happy Horton. And by the way,” Horton growled, “I don’t like school either!” I’m Never Happy Horton, and don’t you forget it!”
“Oh, I won’t,” Mr. Barnes assured him.
Miss Kate, Horton’s teacher, couldn’t forget either after he had come to her class. Horton was sitting in the darkest back corner all alone. “Wouldn’t you like to join us for story time?” Miss Kate asked.
“I don’t happen to like stories,” Horton said as he folded his arms across his chest.
“But this is a very exciting story,” Miss Kate said coaxingly.
“No story is a good story. I don’t even like television. I’m Never Happy Horton, and don’t you forget it!” Horton shouted.
“Oh, I won’t,” said Miss Kate, heaving a big sigh.
At recess the boys needed one more player to make the baseball teams even.
“Come play ball,” Timothy called to Never Happy Horton who was sitting in the middle of a hopscotch square so the girls couldn’t play.
“I don’t like ball games,” Horton replied in an ugly voice. I’m Never Happy Horton. I don’t even like recess, and don’t you forget that either!” Horton insisted.
“Oh, we won’t,” said Timothy with a shake of his head as he went back to play baseball.
“You can’t fool me, Never Happy Horton! You aren’t always unhappy,” said Suzanna, one of the girls who wanted to play hopscotch. You’re happy right now. You’re happy making other people unhappy,” Suzanna said.
“That doesn’t make sense!” cried Horton as loud as he could. “I’m Never Happy Horton, and don’t you forget it!”
“Well, if you’re never happy, why are you sitting in our hopscotch square?”
“Because … well … because,” Horton folded his arms over his chest and frowned. “Just because.”
“Because you’re happy there,” Suzanna said politely. “And so I hereby proclaim you to be Happy Horton.”
“Wait just one minute,” Horton said with a puzzled look. “That’s a terrible name for a boy! It sounds awful! Happy Horton! I hate it!” Horton squished his face together. “Ugh! Nobody is named Happy Horton Hoggle!”
“You are,” Suzanna said. “You and nobody but you.”
“But Happy Horton Hoggle is an awful name,” Horton said quietly.
“Only if you make it awful. After all, being the one and only Happy Horton Hoggle in the world should make you important,” she pointed out.
“Hey, I never thought of that,” Happy Horton said, and the frown almost turned into a smile. “I’m the only Happy Horton I know of.”
“And you’re the only one I’ve ever heard of. That most certainly makes you very special!” Suzanna repeated.
“It does? I mean, yes, it does!” Happy Horton agreed. “I’m Happy Horton Hoggle, and don’t you forget it.”
“Good,” Suzanna said. “With a little practice you’ll make it. Now will you go play ball?”
“Sure,” said Happy Horton, and he even smiled.

Last week after church, Taylor came to find me in the Mother’s room. The first thing he said to me was, the Bishop asked us to speak next week. My reaction was “Great.” Then my husband continued—he wants us to pick our own topics. My Immediate reaction: “Oh great.” Taylor gave laughed at me and said: It’s not hard to choose a topic, just pick something that you have been thinking of for the last week or so. I looked at him and with frustration said: “I haven’t been thinking of anything uplifting in the last few days, in fact, I’ve been in a bad mood.” Good! said Taylor, You can speak about how to overcome a bad mood! Well, while that wasn’t exactly the response I was hoping for, it did start me thinking.

After all, one of the reasons we exist is to find true happiness, also referred to as joy. We aren’t sent to this earth to find a bad mood. Nephi states in 2 Nephi 2:25 that Men are that they might have joy. And, of course, the Lord wants us to be happy. President Hinckley said: “I am satisfied that our Father in Heaven likes to see His children Happy—not miserable, but happy. I believe He wants to see them enjoy the good things of the earth obtained in a righteous way. (Colorado Springs Young Adult Meeting, April 14, 1996.)

There are many factors to consider and requirements to be met when embarking on the life-long pursuit of happiness. I’ve decided to focus on three things that have helped me which are to take, to give and to seek. Or in other words, to take a reality check, to give thanks, and to seek guidance.

First: Take a reality check

Sometimes if I’m not feeling happy at a particular moment, I think I must be doing something wrong or I must be missing out on some big secret. It is important to remember that life is not designed for us to feel complete bliss at every moment. But, if we didn’t have the sad moments, we couldn’t have the happy. As explained by Nephi in 2 Nephi 2:11: “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so . . . righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one: wherefore if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.” Everything has an opposite. And we are blessed to feel a wide range of emotions while on this earth.

And so the first part of the reality check is that life is supposed to be hard.

Elder Boyd K. Packer explained: “It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal. Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life” (“That All May Be Edified” [1982], 94).

Coleen K. Menlove, a Primary General President said in the April 2000 conference: “. . . Even within the Church there are people who aren’t happy or people who are usually happy but who experience intermittent times of stress, worry, challenge, and discouragement. That, too, is part of the great plan of happiness. Mortality is a time of testing and trial, which means that there must be times when we feel pain and emotional discomfort. However, by patiently trusting in the eternal plan, we can experience daily happiness and have hope for “ever-after happiness.”
And many of us have heard President Hinckley’s quote that “most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride” (“Big Rock Candy Mountains,” Deseret News, 12 June 1973, A4).
All three of these leaders have acknowledged that life is hard and often times disappointing, but not one of them failed to mention the times of joy and happiness. This brings us to a second part of the reality check: there is hope that we can overcome the bad mood and we can experience happiness in this life. Elder Packer promised that things will straighten out, Coleen Menlove explained that by patiently trusting in the eternal plan we can experience happiness daily. And president Hinckley urges us to find happiness every day as we enjoy those occasional bursts of speed and learn to enjoy the ride.

Learning to enjoy the ride leads me to the second step of my two-step process. To give or “to give thanks.”

Second: Give Thanks

Our prophet, President Hinckley, is the very example of a glad heart. In his book Standing for Something, he has written: “I am an optimist! … My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life, we ‘accentuate the positive’ ” (Standing for Something [2000], 101).

That advice “accentuate the positive” can make a big difference. Many things can have a different meaning depending on what we accentuate, or emphasize. For example, here are two possible journal entries for one of my days.

First: Today I was awakened by my crying son. I feed him probably 9 times, changed twelve diapers, and shook a rattle over him for what seemed like hours. We listened to music and I made dinner. I read my scriptures and went to bed.

On the other hand, I could have written the Journal entry like this: This morning Brayden let me sleep in until 7:30—yipee! We spent some great time together playing with his toys. I especially enjoy listening to soft music and feeding him. We had lasagna for dinner and I even had the chance to read a story about Moroni before I went to bed.

Both entries could describe the same day, depending on what I choose to emphasize. It is impossible to emphasize the positive without in turn giving thanks for what we have.

President Monson said in the Feb 2000 Ensign “ This is a wonderful time to be living here on earth. Our opportunities are limitless. While there are some things wrong in the world today, there are many thing right, such as teachers who teach, ministers who minister, marriages that make it, parents who sacrifice, and friends who help. We can lift ourselves and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered amount the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place amount the noblets of virtues.”

President Foust in April 1990 general conference added his thoughts on gratitude: “A grateful heart is the beginning of greatness. It is an expression of humility. It is a foundation for the development of such virtues as prayer, faith, courage, contentment, happiness, love and well-being. But there is a truism associated with all types of human strength: Use it or lose it.” When not used, muscles weaken, skills deteriorate, and faith disappears.”

As we sign in Hymn #241

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed
When you are discouraged, think all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

So amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged God is over all.
Count your many blessings angels will attend.
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

As we accentuate the positive, we cannot help but give gratitude for our many blessings. This processes of realizing our blessings can help lift us in times of the dreaded bad mood. And when we count our blessings one of our greatest blessings is knowledge of our Savior.

Third: Seek Guidance

The third step in my process is to seek help. There are several ways that we seek help in our search for happiness: including from our family, friends, good literature, and music. We are also blessed to be able to seek guidance from the most caring and powerful being: our Heavenly Father.
Elder Richard G. Scott said: “Your joy in life depends upon your trust in Heavenly Father and His holy Son, and your conviction that their plan of happiness truly can bring you joy” (“Finding Joy in Life,” Ensign, May 1996, 24).
Coleen K. Menlove said “Through the Savior we can find our way back to God. We can find peace and happiness in this life and eternal joy in the world to come. Jesus Christ, showed us the way to happiness and told us everything we need to do to be happy. As we study the teachings of the Savior and thereby understand the purpose of our existence, we feel and express our happiness.
As we come to understand the great plan of happiness, we will radiate, for all the world to see, a glad heart and a cheerful countenance. We will show that we know the gospel of Jesus Christ is a simple, ever-present source of true happiness today and ever after in eternity. It is living the gospel of Jesus Christ that is our guarantee of living happily ever after.”
The Lord has promised to help us through our difficulties He invited us “Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me: for I am meek and lowly in heart and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matt.11 26-30). The Savior also promises that if we follow him through challenging times we will come closer to true happiness. For He has said: “In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
In the story of Un-happy Horton, Horton find happiness by realizing that he is unique and special and that he can choose to be happy. I testify that to our Savior each one of us is unique. I am the only Happy Jasmine Dickerson that is just like me. And Heavenly Father knows me. He cares about me and he wants me to be happy. Each of us can find that happiness by turning to him. Although sometimes relief from the “bad mood” syndrome can be a long time in coming, I know that it can come.